


So Far Past Me Now

by Petesnudes



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s steve, Bad Drabble, Hydra, M/M, Memories, Repetition, as a way to dehumanize, buckys trigger words, implied Steve/Bucky, it/its pronouns, pre-serum steve, remembering, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petesnudes/pseuds/Petesnudes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the asset remembers..</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Far Past Me Now

 

Sometime The Asset remembers.

It's rare, just a flicker of the past before he's commanded, or frozen, or shocked again.

Its not supposed to feel this way. But it does,

Sometimes.

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. One. Freight car._

Sometimes when it remembers, it doesn't make sense.

It remembers loving stubbornness and fight and a thick Brooklyn accent. It remebers holding someone back and keeping them safe. Something inside it screams a name it doesn't remeber.

_Longing. **RUSTED.** Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. One. Freight car._

 "Don't do anything stupid" a warm smile across pale skin with sad blue eyes.

  
"How could I do that, I'm leaving all the stupid with you."

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. **HOMECOMING.** One. Freight car._  
  
He sees the little girl. Something in it tells it to stop, tells it to run away before they catch it again.

But it's hard to run away with a leash on.

It lets the little girl go.

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. **BENIGN**. Homecoming. One. Freight car._

Fallings.

It's falling fast and all it can see is tears in blue eyes and screaming erupting from the same pale body it's seen before.

  
It hits the ground.

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. One. **FREIGHT CAR.**_

"Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, yes?"

( _Who?_ )

It nods and feels old, glassy ,hopeful eyes scan it's body.

( _It's missing something. It feels old, and hurt, and used?_ )

The mans accent is thick but it's not _Brooklyn_ ,

it sends shivers down its spine and

"It's time for experimentation."

_**LONGING. RUSTED. SEVENTEEN. DAYBREAK. FURNACE. NINE. BENIGN. HOMECOMING. ONE. FREIGHT CAR.** _

"Bucky, don't go."

  
"But I gotta protect my best doll. 'Sides when I get back we can be happy again. Don't cha worry about me"

It's the same pale skin and blue eyes that won't reach a smile. He looks sick and hurt and the asset wants to reach out to touch and-

_**LONGING.** Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. **ONE.** Freight car._

It remebers he used to be smaller.

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. **ONE.** Freight car._

It feels bones crushing under its fists. It was told to make it messy this time. Do what it thought it should. There's blood everywhere. It watches as the life slips from her eyes and she goes limp. It feels guilty,

Almost.

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. **BENIGN.** Homecoming. One. Freight car._

It feels Hot all over.  
Pale hands on its chest.  
"Cmon back to bed buck, v'been missin' you"

_Brooklyn accent._

_Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. Homecoming. **ONE.** Freight car._

 

His moms name was Sara.

**_Longing._ **

He wore newspaper in his shoes.

**_Rusted._ **

He just wanted to join the damn war.

**_Seventeen._ **

He hated bullies.

**_Daybreak._ **

He was weak and got sick too often.

**_Furnace._ **

He acted like he was invincible.

**_Nine._ **

Then he became invincible

**_Benign._ **

He saved the asset.

**_Homecoming._ **

The asset pulled him from the water.

**_One._ **

 

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

 

 

**_Freight car._ **

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic by Bucky (me) with the Same rlly bad writing style as all my other ones cause I'm awful at being original.  
> And yes! M finally writing avengers and marvel stuff but m still gonna write joshler ,, eventually 
> 
> Talk w me on Tumblr:  
> @ Fre1ghtcar  
> @ Queerjoshler  
> @ M2dical


End file.
